Editing a voice-over script for clarity and concision

We edited a voice-over script for our client Zanshin Films who were making a suite of videos for the NHS. With NHS staff providing the technical accuracy, we ensured it would be clear and understandable to the target audience.

Zanshin Films is a Bristol-based video production agency that helps organisations connect with their clients, customers and stakeholders. They were commissioned to produce a suite of three videos for the NHS. These were designed to communicate patient pathways and approached On Point for help modifying a script.

On Point’s approach

Having received the first draft supplied to Zanshin Films, our first step was to conduct a quick appraisal of the script to identify areas of improvement. The videos were replacing leaflets, and had to convey quite a lot of technical and procedural information whilst remaining engaging.

Knowing it was eventually going to be delivered as a video, we wanted the writing to flow naturally. We shortened the sentences throughout to make it simpler to understand. And gave it that professional sheen by tidying up some typos and awkward expressions. We also reworded phrases that were ambiguous and altered repetitive words that may have sounded clunky in a narration. 

As the script would be delivered as natural speech, we opted for simpler word choices where possible and reduced the technical language. This made it more accessible for a general audience. 

Once complete, we invited the client, via Zanshin, to check that no technical meaning had been changed in our editing process. They confirmed this was so.

A successful outcome

We love collaborating with other creative agencies at On Point. It allows us to help create and deliver a complete service to the client – whether ours or the agency’s. Zanshin Films were thrilled with On Point’s service.

Thank you so much for your speedy, efficient and quality work on the scripts for the NHS video. 

As we discussed the tone of the script was very important, and it needed to convey some complex information in a simple way – I was very impressed with how you did this, in two revisions, and the hospital were very pleased too. 

I will absolutely be in touch when there are more voice-over projects.

Nathan Lomax-Cooke, Company Director, Zanshin Films

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